The 4 Mile Marathon

Watch Meatballs for reference.

I’m not available to defend #Nugget on 8/28 so I thought I’d roll out this nasty little sucker for us.

When I began flirting with this idea, I thought, crap, who’ll be the neurotic Jew kid with the sweet fro. There’s no clear front runner for W-udy the W-abbit; unless you were to consider the pax that reeked of Moo Goo Gai Pan, rocked the old school Chucks and posted an off-the-books Clockwork the day after Christmas. He was fast. He was Jew-ish. Wonder what happened to him?

That dude could definitely be Rudy.

Camp North Star vs Camp Mohawk

Would Area 51 be North Star?

There’s no real favorite here, no underdog. I’m not a territorial douche bag.

Shoot, I want to party with the Mohawks. I want to bong PBR’s, sing-a-long by the campfire, roast S’mores, fingerbang my crush and run a 4 mile marathon like it’s the Summer of ’79.

The 4 Mile Marathon

From the intersection of OLD BELL and SARDIS. Down OLD BELL. L on BLUE RIDGE. R on MOUNTAINVIEW (down, around and up) as this section of road becomes WILBY. Stay on WILBY to SARDIS. R on SARDIS. L on SARDIS NORTH. R on BEVERLY CIRCLE.

BEVERLY CIRCLE will intersect with SARDIS NORTH again. This is the 2 MILE MARKER. At this intersection, turn around and run the route in reverse.

BEVERLY to SARDIS NORTH to SARDIS to WILBY. L on WILBY. Stay left at Chester’s house. WILBY becomes MOUNTAINVIEW. Run that nasty gauntlet and grind up MOUNTAINVIEW and hang a hard Louie at BLUE RIDGE, Ralph at OLD BELL and burn whatever you got left to the finish at the PARKING LOT.

A pure redline out and back. Please be careful crossing SARDIS and SARDIS NORTH. Traffic is typically pretty light at this hour and we’ve run this route on numerous occasions, but you need to watch what you’re doing. I’ve kept us off the road as much as possible while stretching the course out a little for us. Be safe. Be smart. Your splits don’t mean nothin’ if you don’t make it back to brag about it.

The winner will go sub 24. The rest of us should aim for times ranging from 24 – 32 minutes.

I think between now and BRR we need to experience as many “race” scenarios as reasonably possible to tune up.

If you don’t feel like you’d rather eat a bowl of sashimi grade doo-doo (it’s still doo-doo) with a dollop of wasabi and side of ginger, courtesy of W-udy the W-abbit, at any point during this “marathon” then you’re not trying hard enough.

It’s only 30 minutes long. Pedal as hard as you can. Or eat that doo-doo. Your call.

We will spend a good 10 – 15 minutes on warm-up and another 10 – 15 on cool down.

The Warm-Up:

Back side of Wilby for dynamic stretching and lung openers.

The Cool-Down:

When you have completed the 4 Mile Marathon you will return to the Horsey course via Sardis to Wilby. Pick up that nasty little hill and run your little heart out until 6:10.

Meet at the flagpole for the Pledge of Allegiance at 6:10.

It should take no longer than 5 minutes to run that ½ mile to base.


We’ll meet at Old Bell & Sardis on Monday @ 515a. Head lamp optional.

3 thoughts on “The 4 Mile Marathon

  • July 26, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    Like what your doing here. No more boot camp at Horsey.

    Also, T-claps for getting your PB out before Lee even posts his BB from Monday. Maybe he’s waiting until 8/28 to submit his so he knows what he’s up against for best Horsey BB of 2017.

    FYI – We can award the trophy on Monday. Icky is coming up with an event on 8/28 meant to even out the field (ie tilt in his favor). I prefer to award to the fastest horse in the race.

  • July 26, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    You’re referring to General Tso , not Moo Goo Gai Pan. But honest Amewican misteke.

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