The Thang:

Mosey to Latta Park

Jacob’s Fatter: Romany Hill, from Dilworth to Carlton x 5 rounds, with 10 merkins at the top and 10 jump squats at the bottom

Mosey through Park to Playground

5 pull ups, 15 merkins, 30 dips x 2 rounds

Mosey to lower Myrtle

AYG to Mt Vernon, baby dick down x 4 with merkins, wide, diamonds at the bottom

AYG to Berkeley

Stop and do stuff.

AYG down Berkeley to Euclid

LBC x 50

AYG Euclid to Lexington

My Junk:

I traveled to Asia last year and got gypped on Snickers. That’s my thing, man. I love a damn Snickers bar. Same wrapper. Said Snickers on the label and everything. Took that first bite.

Ain’t no damn Snickers! That’s a Snuckers bar — who you foolin’? I don’t know if it’s the ratio of nougat to caramel or what but it wasn’t a Snickers.

I been gypped.

Team MF’n Tempo Month at the PWW.

Brings back some fond memories.

The Leatherneck. Back in the day we’d ride down on those big fancy charter buses and play in the mud #BetterTogether

Team Tempo: Me, Swamp Fox, The Mighty Lance & Gandalf.

You’d think we were the team to beat. We weren’t. Not at all. A consistent Top 10 team. Running a 4-man team in this format, you’re only as good as your weakest member. I was that guy. I know, I know, you were probably thinking Swamp was the flesh anchor. Or TML, maybe. No. Gandalf? Nope. Just me. It was always me.

Never knew which guy was going to show up. This pre-dates FitWrap. You were definitely getting #FatMark and Fat Mark would have good days and bad days. Come to think of it, I may have been the first fat F3Metro pax to identify as skinny. In 2012-13 I was trans-slender. I wouldn’t make the full transition until 2016 and dropped the “trans” upon completion.

Today, I am a Slender High Impact Man. My pronoun is #SHIM

3 years to get right. Holy cow, that’s a long ass time to get your shit straight. I needed it. I use to drink a lot of beer. I use to drink a lot of everything. I use to do a lot of blow. I was so good at blow I could eat sandwiches under the influence of it. I ate too many damn sandwiches. That’s how I got fat. Years of abuse.

I can’t tell you what fat “feels” like. I can’t tell you what thin “feels” like. I can only tell you what I feel like.

And I feel better.

I don’t like to gyp folks like my Asian friends do, but that’s the way it was back then. Same deal with leading workouts.

My fat ass would hot box a Marlboro at the house and go lead Ranger.

F3 was new to me. I was new to recovery. I would get up extra early and sit outside with a coffee and burn a cigarette before a workout. I would sit and enjoy the serenity of the black night prior to the hell of the F3 gloom. Can’t explain it. Just that that’s what I needed at the time. Too much too soon is just that, I guess.

If you’re struggling with the fat version of you or the out-of-shape drunk version of you, don’t sweat it. Take your time. You don’t need to be a badass today. You need only to identify as one. That’s the first step, identifying that shit.

Now, go be that. Just tuck and tape your baby dick and get after it. It’ll happen.

I feel like I gypped you boys today. I hope not.




3 thoughts on “Snuckers

  • August 26, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    Spit turkey Bolognese all over my keyboard when I got to the #SHIM reveal. No gyp.

  • August 27, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    Another Picasso. As with your earlier post about being a dad, this backblast forced me into a moment of uncomfortable self-reflection. You mention a 3-year transition to a #SHIM, which led me to ponder where I stand (I’m sure many others did as well). Sadly, I have not achieved #SHIM status and have fallen into complacency. As guys like Slice and Steroid crush it, I remain in no-mans-land, languishing there for at least 5-6 years. At times, appearing fit and trim, but upon close inspection, a cubic zirconium – nice and shiny from a distance but not the real #SHIM. Not enough mental commitment, physical discipline, etc. to get right. Essentially a pho-lean HIM, or #PHLHIM. Thanks for the #firewood.

Leave a Reply