Wait, No Kelly Tripuka’s?

The BackBlast:

F3 Swole Backblast – Freedom Park
Q: MMOB (Birthday Edition 🎂)
When: 0600–0645
Where: Top of the pond, Princeton Ave side – Freedom Park

Pax-29

The Thang

0600 sharp the PAX gathered at the pond for the Oval of Trust, a living, breathing demographic study of America: Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z—and probably a few guys still operating on dial-up. If you want to see the full generational spectrum sweating together before sunrise, Swole is the place.

Warm-Up:
• Side Straddle Hops
• Imperial Walkers
• Merkins + Plank Taps
• Knuckle Squats

Then we were off on a lap around the pond, threading the needle through the construction zone like a pack of caffeinated gazelles.

At the railing beside Field of Dreams:
• 10 Inboards → Flutters
• 10 Outboards → Rosalitas

From there we jogged over to the base of MegaTool.

MegaTool Series:
• Plank at the base
• Sprint to the top of the Lurker
• Plank it out
• Maktar Jive (because someone thought that was a good idea)

Back down MegaTool where the speed bumps received the traditional Monkey Humpers + Squats (Freedom Park traffic calming measures have never been the same).

Plank at the bottom and roll onward.

Partner Pain Series

Over to Soccer Field #1 for a partner beatdown:
• Hand-Slap Merkins
• Partner Sit-Ups
• Sprint the field (x2)

Then:
• Hand-Slap Squats
• Partner Sit-Ups
• Another sprint for good measure.

Stairway to Heaven (Freedom Park Amphitheater Edition)

At Charlotte’s premier outdoor amphitheater:
• Merkins to the top → 7 Burpees
• Wide-Arm Merkins to the top → 6 Burpees
• Diamond Merkins to the top → 5Burpees

Then:
• Prisoner Lunges all the way up 4 B’s
• Reverse Prisoner Lunges back down 3 B’s
• Merkins up and down 2 B’a

Mosey to Yoga Mat..

Mary Series

Final stop: the yoga mat for 4 minutes of Mary:
• Prayer Sit-Ups
• Freddie Mercurys
• Cuban Twists
• Heels to Heaven

High-energy finish. No one accused Swole of under-delivering.

Notables

🎂 Birthday Q:
MMOB celebrating 56 laps around the sun and apparently decided the best way to celebrate was to make everyone else suffer.

FNGs (2):
• Bernie – A crunchy import from Vermont, representing the Millennial generation with enthusiasm and suspiciously strong sit-ups.
• AirTag – From Kentucky. Arrived with bourbon apparently pre-installed at birth and somehow misplaced his keys during a 45-minute workout. Technology is now involved.

Special Guest:
MMOB’s 2.0 Whammo returned for a cotter cameo.

Generational Data Points:
• War Baby: Age 22
• War Daddy: Burt Phillips (Ernie) at 68
• Mighty Wind sighting at 62

Proof that Swole truly is F3 Metro’s intergenerational melting pot.

Fellowship Highlights
• Frankie Five Angels delivered the COT prayer with authority.
• Monkeyfeet, currently on IR, showed up like a benevolent caffeinated angel with a golden box of Starbucks to keep the fellowship rolling.

Injury may sideline a man from burpees… but not from serving the PAX.

At Swole you’ll see it all:
Boomers out-planking Millennials, Gen Z learning what monkey humpers are, and grown men sprinting around a pond before sunrise for no good reason other than brotherhood and betterment.

Another strong morning at the pond all organized by Metro Nantan- Spoons! 🥄

SYITG.