We didn't have a lot of 80th birthdays in my family. Not because we didn't live long enough --many of my relatives have been damn close to centurions. No it's because in our family we believe 80 is our unlucky number. For some people it's the number 13 but in our family it was the number 80. So in the same way that hotels go from the 12th floor to the 14th floor in our family you simply went from being 79 to being 81. Yes we are a superstitious lot. Now Money's family is genetically different. Socially different, culturally different ...they're just different all the way around. They've had so many people turn 80 in money's family that they no longer get a discount for having done so. They also are known for putting Jägermeister on their pancakes instead of syrup, and the men routinely wear high heels. But hey, i don;t judge. I'm just an observer.
And yeah we were excited that money was turning 80 and that's why such a tremendous group turned to celebrate by having a beat down in his honor.
And like any good celebrations we started off with the standard people. Finishing that pax had already received post-it notes with numbers 1 through 10 on them. Pax were instructed to go to the corresponding sign on AG Middle School and do 10 of whatever exercise was on that sign. Having completed that exercise they were to run to the rev florida pickup truck and then go to the next station. If you got through all 10 stations rinse and repeat. Exercises were merkins ,squats, maktar Jai, JLo ,burpees ,alternating lunges, Carolina dry docks ,side straddle hops, plank jacks, and LBC. With about 8 minutes left Money circled us up for some Mary before time was called.
I've got to tell you I've been looking forward to this workout for a while. And it wasn't just that we got to present Money with a facsimile of a championship weightlifting belt. It was because I knew that pax would turn out. It's July it's humid --people are in training for other events , they're on vacation and we still had darn close to 80 people show up for this workout on a Tuesday morning. That shows you the love that we have for one another. That and fear. A lot of people don't like to talk about it but the fact is that Money is a badass ninja. Oh he treats us well and he's kind most of the time but if he decides to fuck your shit up your shit ain't got much choice but to get fucked. That's just the way he is. I mean I'm grateful to call him friend but I'll tell you right now if I had somebody as an enemy I'd make them money sending me too. That way I can have him fuck their shit up and I wouldn't have to do it myself.
Hey the playlist was pretty easy. Even Kiefer figured it out. These were all songs about money. Now I'll tell you right now you got a really know your pax if you're going to play Pink Floyd and Abba in the same workout. But I'll tell you what I know my brothers and I know the limits I can push them to musically.
Unfortunately people like Foo keep me from being able to push our limits in terms of what we do at a workout. Yes it's true that Foo killed the lunch lady he kept me from bringing a pallet load of bowling balls to a workout and every time I even slow down to pick up a toilet by the side of the road I can hear foo yelling at me
"no you won't". But you know what that's just foo's job. And I ain't going to get mad at him for doing his job.
Thanks to senor chips for helping out as well. We couldn't do it without him. And when I say we couldn't do it without him senior chips adds a legitimacy that I perhaps will never have. I think it's because he's in charge of about 98 billion dollars at the bank. I mean in charge of the dollars. They are 98 billion $1 bills in a warehouse that senor chips is in charge of.
all right Brothers thanks again for being there today. Thanks for celebrating money.
Stay strong move forward and fear not.
The Reverend Flo-Rida