Audit Results: Thanks for the Nudge, that Sucked

The BackBlast:

This is not an official back blast, but an official Audit Result. QIC: Metro South Audit (Newport, Sausage & Auditor in training-Monk)
Executive Summary: Thanks for the Nudge, that Sucked.

We rolled into the lot this am and Belly Itcher was camped out in his Jeep, likely struggling to sleep or just needed a safe parking lot to bunk in for the night. Disney was running the track early. The Q (Steriod) shows up with enough time to spare while there seemed to be some confusion from Worm’s Site-Q- Meth Jesus (Tormund) who was choosing between Tom Sawyer and Steroid for leadership options on this beautiful morning. Red Fox & Big Rig slid in from the rough streets of Cotswold. Checkpoints car drove him to the workout, Nabisco backed into his parking spot, Moonshine drew a crowd and before you know it about 20 guys sprint off into the darkness. Two New Guys (Doge- from DC who learned about us on the internet) and a Morgan Wallen lookalike (DogHouse) from F3Chicago made a poor choice, but are better men as of 7am this morning. They survived. Per the official audit team Garmin: 5.6 Miles, 53 Mins of “Vigorous” Intensity Minutes, Aerobic impact- Thermonuclear, well above lactate thresholds.

The Grading Results:

Scoring is simple, across a 1-9 scoring range with 9 being the most favorable. The main focus is on the leadership from the Site Q and Q. The rating goes as follows:
1 Flesh Anchor
3 BullFrog
5 Lizards
7 Accelerating
9 Virtuous Leaders

Did the workout start & end on time, with clear flow and minimal downtime? SCORE: 9. Excellent work.
Did the Q use proper cadence and give clear instructions with good form enforcement? SCORE: 7. There were points deducted for some poor squat options, however Steroid resumed focus after trying to ditch the entire group with his ‘keep it at my pace ladies’ first mile sprint

Was the workout well-balanced (run/strength/core) with appropriate distance and intensity aligned to sharpen the PAX?SCORE: 9 Not balanced at all. Who cares we’re scoring it high. Worm is a real punch in the trinkets if you want it. Be warned, even the 30 year olds were angry and gassed.

Did the PAX stay engaged and moving, with safe, scalable exercises for all fitness levels? SCORE: 7 Not really, there was plenty of whining but Steroid added a nice holiday touch with the run under the Christmas (I meant Holiday) lights.
Is leadership rotating well (new Qs stepping up, well scheduled, back blasts posted, veteran Qs not hogging) did the COT & Metro South announcements spur the PAX? SCORE: 7. The audit team was hoping to see our mysterious Tormund, that Kris Kringle Beard, with that Twinkle in his eye but it turns out he was missing, up range, or hiding in the woods. A mystery of a site-q with his low commz style, but brings a world of hurt to mean every Saturday with his incredible influence. Not a Master, but close. Moonshine dropped very articulate insults in the COT, veiled as a devotion to all. Kind words men.

Physical Therapy Bills go straight to Steroid’s HSA. Good work wormers.

SYITG,
Newport