AO: Bastion Mileage: 3-ish (depending on GPS accuracy and emotional stability)
The Scene: Rolled into Cotswold at 5:29:57, hit start on my watch with the swagger of someone who definitely didn’t just wing the route. Told the PAX, “Runners will get their miles, but we’re keeping a Clydesdale pace.” That was a lie. A bold, unrepentant lie.
We launched through the Hardcore AO just to assert our territorial rights, then meandered to the Cotswold Shopping Center for some Merkins and Monkey Humpers between UPS and the Teeter (shoutout to the morning shoppers for the support). After that: the Publix stairatorium, a detour to Atlas for pull-ups and laps, and then a secret Teeter cut-through to Woodlark. Final stop: back to Hardcore, where we demoed proper kettlebell usage and wrapped it all up with some pedestrian-approved sidewalk squats while waiting to cross Providence.
PAX Highlights: • YHC: Discovered that “leading from behind” is not a great cardio strategy. Turns out you can’t out-run a bad diet, or your 40s. • Sausage: Started talking trash at the first stoplight and didn’t let up. Also may have sneak-fartleked us (was that a duck?). • Film Fest: Ran like a man with a plot to finish. Quoting movies, breathing like a yogi, and somehow narrating the entire run. • KGB: Quiet. Efficient. Menacing. Ran like he was auditing our form the whole time. • Boondoggle: Smooth as a jazz solo. Effortless. Suspiciously so. Probably wasn’t trying. • Stinger: Claimed to be in "recovery mode." Then ran us into the pavement. Respectfully. • Newport: New-ish but suspiciously fast. Fresh legs. Fresh gear. Fresh attitude. Possibly AI.
COT: We circled up, soaked in sweat and gratitude. No injuries, no citations, no Lexus-related incidents. Called out prayers for strength, focus, and not limping into the office.
Final Thoughts: We ran. We bonded. We mildly alarmed the neighborhood. Strava might say we drew a potato, but the fellowship? A masterpiece. Appreciate the miles, the banter, and that no one questioned my navigation... out loud.
Until next time — Manziel out.