Have You Seen Her?

The BackBlast:

YES!!! Leave it to the RAnGEr gangsters to finally solve the yearlong mystery of the disappearance and killing of JonBenet Ramsey.

With our only token black guy (Prime Time) and only ex-professional soccer and only TV news anchor leading the way this morning, I knew it was going to be a good morning. Then when I saw Holtz pull up with another new teenage boy, I knew it was going to be great. Once everyone got over the awkwardness of Holtz attending his 6th straight workout with 6 different teenage boys, we were fine. We all agreed only the Catholic Priests should burn in hell.

The Workout: not really sure. We ran around. Ended up over somewhere by the buzzsaw. Lost Tassels as his diabetes flared up again. Ran by a MegaMillions sign that is now up to 680 million. We all agreed if won, we would not send one cent to Accelerate. And then it was over.

FNG: really one of my finer masterpieces. Said teenage boy who changes Holtz’s readers lenses for a living, is from Atlanta and went to the worst fan base of all of college football, Georgia. There were a lot of options here. Swiper wanted to name him Peacock (more on that later) but I’m not that big of a dick. Being a True Crime fan, I immediately remembered the story of JonBenet Ramsey and the strange occurrences around her disappearance and death. Gridlock, being in an expert in little girl kidnappings, disagreed with my statement that she was from Atlanta. Don’t fuck with me bro. Welcome JonBenet to F3: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_JonBen%C3%A9t_Ramsey We

Metro Announcements: being on life-support ever since Curly finally gave up his duties after 67 years, SharkTank is officially closed. Your welcome JackNasty. Only Uncle can re-open it. And Rube needs to dump BigHair off to someone. And that means anyone expect the Joe Biden (Bundy) of F3.

Electoral Magic Signs: funny thing happened this morning. After hitting Moosehead after the workout this morning, came home to an electoral sign that I never asked, or better yet, paid for standing in my yard. After taking a closer look, I noticed several oddities with the sign. Almost like magic tricks. Unfortunately, everyone will have to wait until next week to get my breakdown of this year’s local election and how one candidate made the Statue of Liberty disappear.