THE FOLLOWING PROMO BACKBLAST IS ACTUALLY AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE FROM THIS MORNING’S Q. JUST BECAUSE I DON’T SPEAK A LOT DOESN’T MEAN THERE’S NOT A CONSTANT CONVERSATION IN MY HEAD. TURNS OUT ITS ANGRY AND CURSES MORE THAN IT SHOULD.
Man its a good thing Rhapsody pinged me yesterday. That would be some embarrassing sh*t to forget I had the Q.
Is that Slice pulling in in front of me? I wonder if he bought that thing cuz he kept hearing these guys talk about getting ‘Black Tahoed’? There’s like 50 open spots here, why’s he gotta back that thing in?
I cant believe they’re sticking with this 5:15 launch when only 5 guys max show up? Screw it, I’m not thinking of anything creative. We’ll just do some hot laps on the track.
We got Foreclosure, he’s always here for the early, KC yep, Rhap of course, there’s Bear on his bike. Does he own a car, I wonder where he lives? Why does he have to leave PWW early but not Promo? Must be some oddly early Monday meeting thing.
5:14, Chicken’s gonna hit the port-a-john in 3..2..1..Yep, there he goes. ‘We’ll be on the track Chicken.”
Alright, I’m gonna do a bunch a push-ups at the 5:30 launch to quiet the chatter. I know these Promo boys. 2nd F, hug-loving SOB’s love to chatter. And I don’t want to be yelling instructions over that BS in this quiet hood.
Better stick with non-merkin stuff on the hot laps. 2 laps at a time will keep us close enough together. How about squat thrusts for 2 laps, knee-ups for 2, and plank-jacks? Is that Purple Rabbi standing on the track watching, wtf? “Come on, let’s go we’re doing squat thrusts.”
Slice: ‘What’s up with these new Metro shirts? They keep riding up and showing off the midriff. I gotta keep running to get beach ready for the summer.”
Slice: “Hey TML, did you catch that PWW Backblast from Sheep, pretty solid! I forgot that guy can write a pretty mean BB.”
Me (externally): “Actually yeah I did that was good stuff.”
Me (internally): I don’t wanna talk about PWW. I’m still pissed that thing has become a 45-minute, 6-mile SIB.
Slice: “Oh yeah, and did you catch the BB from What-Did after Shorecard? That was strong too!”
Me (externally): “Yep, it was.”
Me (internally): Sh*t, we’re back to doing BB’s, which means I’m gonna have to write one. Oh crap it’s 5:30.
“Circle up”. Yep, here goes the chatter. Straight merkins is not gonna kill it. Spider-merkins will help, I know if I go past 10 of those that’ll cross a mental point for some guys. Yep, that helped. RT’s, Crossfits, love those. I'm calling slow bicycles. The fast ones don’t actually do anything, you’re just flailing elbows and spinning legs. Stagger rights so they know lefts are coming. Why the f*ck are those 90/15 crunches so hard? OK, chatter’s down, guys are quitting, time to go to Goshen.