Raining Dildo’s at RAnGEr

The BackBlast:

So Scrouge, who some people think he is the Nathan of West Charlotte, told a crowd of Redwoods last Friday that BackBlasts are back. I haven’t seen that many people laugh since Metro announced they were splitting into North and South. Anyways, here you go Scrouge.

Another perfect day at the last best workout in F3. Bulge and DannyG got some extra credit in over at Visulites weekly co-ed wet t-shirt mud wrestling contest. When they got back, Bulge had Danny’s jorts on and Danny had Bulge’s wife beater on. Weird? Not a RAnGEr.

Because I knew What Didn’t would be worthless today, I asked him to figure out what world record we were going for today. Not shockingly, being a Penn State graduate and roommates of Jerry Sandusky, he dropped the soap.

Nine parking decks were knocked out and a couple meaningless push-ups were thrown in. Probably around 35k steps. That’s never the point of RAnGEr. This is the point:

• Immigrant from Des Moinzzz, Iowa: As luck would have it, I noticed some random dude in the parking lot before we started. A new guy at RAnGEr is always my favorite. I just figured he was Mr. Bo’s new hair plug guy. As the workout progressed, it was uncovered that he was a visitor in town from Des Moinzzzzz, Iowa. What a perfect F3 workout to choose off the website. Some takeaways from our visitor:
o Of course he had some dumb nickname from the Iowa people so needed a RAnGEr nickname. First off nobody knew where Iowa is. Why the fuck would we? Luckily Iowa is NOW famous for one person. Caitlin Clark. So every time my man comes back to RAnGEr (never), he is Angel Reese.
o In COT, Angel complimented us on having a sound Disclaimer, waiting for the DFL dude in the back, and the best prayer in F3.
o I’ll give Angel credit, didn’t bitch one time about being left behind and thanked us at the end. Already better than 95% of Metro.
• Dildo’s: Speaking of Caitlin and Angel, RAnGEr Pax approves of the new trend of throwing Dildo’s at WNBA games. Just makes sense.
• Rain Helmets: Not those creeper. For some reason, HE, What Didn’t, and Mr. Boo all worse baseball hats this morning. Only excuse that was accepted came from Mr. Booo…can’t get his new hair plugs wet or they will multiply. Seriously dude…stop.
• Rube Update: Th*in Slice gave us an update on Rube’s wellbeing. As most of you know by now, Rube’s wife got bitten by a monkey in Vietnam and then had sex with Rube the same night. Unfortunately, both are still showing signs of herpes.
• Salary Updates: One PAX who might work for a school district got an $8.00 increase this year and one PAX who rapes clients on paper got an $80,000.00 increase. Make smart decisions early in your life gentlemen.

See everyone at Uncle Tony’s Xmas Porno in December