Intro:
The Thang: warm up, countdown , and then 2 11's
Naked Man Moleskin:
There are people that change your life permanently just by showing up. Like Russel White, my 6th grade teacher who paddled me in the hallway of Maplehurst Elementary for shooting a spit wad (accidentally) then ended up lodged in his nasal cavity. Years later it would turn up that it was he that liked getting paddled and was paying hookers to do so. Front page of the local paper.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s spelled “ F-U-C-K Y-O-U”.
Or Coach K. I have only met him once, but we exchanged letters about 20 years ago, and it truly was a life changing moment. He’s just that kind of guy.
And then there’s senor Chips. Senor Chips is basically Chuck Norris, Houdini, and Mr. Rogers all rolled into one. Which is funny because Senor once met Chuck Norris, and is the only person who was allowed to call him ‘Chucky” (have Senor tell you the story about the truck stop in Waco, and the broken soft-serve machine. They basically ruined a Stuckeys.) Senor can escape from a straight jacket using only a ramen noodle. And the Mr. Rogers connection came from an internship circa 1987 when Chips told Mr. Rogers that Mr. Mcfeely wanted to come out of the closet but couldn’t do so unless everyone made him feel accepted first ( Senor has phenomenal Gaydar).
So with all of these amazing characteristics, you can imagine how excited I was to see him. Chips rolled up in his vintage 1971 Dodge Dart rocking out to a bootleg “Andy Gibb” concert his uncle Gibby recorded at the music farm. Steps out wearing a pair of carhart overalls and that’s it—no shoes, and he was free balling under those overalls. Nibbler confirmed this after we did partner carries. Don’t ask for details, it makes Nibbsy cry.
Chips did the whole workout with a dip in, and explained why “Finder V. Keeper” is indeed a legal precedent and can be cited in court. He did burpees with one hand and one leg, substituting a cartwheel for the push up. Pretty cool if you think about it.
A Jet flew overhead, and when chips waved the pilot dipped his wings.
At the end, we were sad that we couldn’t do ball of man. DRM complained about missing the connection with each other, and Grapevine shared his fear of getting COVID. So Senor says “I got the cure boys. Lay on your backs and close your eyes.” We all complied cuz that’s how strong Chips is. Well, I just couldn’t keep my eyes shut and I’ll be damned if I didn’t see Senor drop his overalls and proceed to tea bag all of us, jumping one pax to the next and just barely grazing the forehead of each man with his Mayo sack. Senor tells us we are now immune to the Covid, and I see no reason to argue with him.
I do got a funny mark on my head like it was Ash Wednesday, but that’s the price you pay for immunity.
Good to see you all out there. Stay strong and move forward.
FNGs:
none